Parenting A Child With ADHD Is Challenging

Well, it's been almost two months since we found out our son has ADHD.  It's definitely been a roller coaster with many ups and downs.  We've discovered that parenting a child with ADHD is like trying to disarm a bomb blindfolded,  handcuffed, and with no idea when it will go off.  Do you have one minute, one hour, or an entire day?  You have to be very calm, structured, flexible, and always prepared for anything.

We have seen many wonderful changes.  He is totally focused, driven, and excited about school.  His grades are even better than they were before.  His love of books is back and he isn't sidetracked by little distractions anymore.  Things that used to set him off no longer bother him.

There have also been many challenges.  Trying to find a medication and dosage that works best is like trying to pick the winning lottery ticket.  You just never know if the numbers you have are going to be the big winner.  We are currently on our second medication and dosage change.

So far so good, though we've had side effects to battle as well.  The main issue is a total lack of appetite.  He is down almost 10 pounds in 2 months.  That complication alone isn't good, but he also has issues with low blood sugar.  Remember the time bomb I mentioned earlier?  Low blow sugar + ADHD child = Kaboom.

We've determined that his magic number is 3.  Every 3 hours he needs to eat a well balanced snack or there will be fallout.  The fallout ranges from mild irritation to take cover because he's about to blow.  Previously I was having trouble getting him to eat three meals a day, imagine the difficulty getting him to eat every 3 hours.  Yesterday was a particularly difficult day.   I had to pay him a quarter just to get him to eat a snack.  It's difficult watching his body change so quickly and knowing there is little that I can do to stop it.

Every day is a challenge.  Yet every day I think about someone else who has it worse off than me.  I think about the single parent who has no backup.  I think about the friend who has a diabetic child, and realize just how manageable low blood sugar is.  I envision the daily struggles of parents with severely autistic children.  I think about all of those things and realize that I'm one of the lucky ones.  The challenges aren't easy ones, but I can handle them, and I'm extremely grateful for that.

Life is a journey, not a destination

Life is a journey, not a destination.  Those words couldn't be more true.  With every passing year, I am made more aware of that truth.  Each big event, experience, hardship, and loss is just another leg of the journey.  Some parts of the journey are great and others are exhausting, frightening, and downright unbearable.  Yet with each new experience our family grows stronger, wiser, and becomes even better.

It's been well over a year since my last post.  Busy schedules, birthday parties, and life have gotten in the way once again.  It is only after another big event that I feel the keyboard beckoning me once again.  I don't know why I ever stopped, writing is so therapeutic.  It's a way to convey the simplest of messages, good or bad.  It's especially helpful when spoken words are hard to form, even with the best of friends.

A new leg of our journey is beginning.  Last week my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD.  It's not like it was a big surprise, it's something that we've been watching for awhile.  We had hoped it was just a boy thing and that sooner or later maturity would kick in and some of the impulsive choices that he had been making would come to an end.  Instead we discovered that those poor choices were occurring more often than not and that he seemed to be in warp speed all of the time.  When he is in hyperdrive it's like watching a piece of flubber bouncing from one room or activity to the next.  He just can't stop.  

Our first step was having our family and the school fill out a Vanderbilt Assessment.  That way everyone involved kind of had a baseline of where we were starting, and where the problems seemed to be the worst.  It was also useful in determining our goals.  Shortly after, we met with our fabulous pediatrician who discussed all of our options (including massive amounts of exercise), and explained everything in detail to our very inquisitive 8 year old.  Collectively, we decided to place him on medication.  A decision that was thoroughly researched and not made lightly.  He started his first dose on Friday.

To say that the past four days have been a roller coaster is an understatement.  Since our son is only medicated during the week, we get a really good idea of whether or not the medication is working.  It is!  We may need to adjust the dosage because sometimes he seems like a complete zombie, but that may have a way of working itself out over time.  His ravenous appetite is gone so now we have to remind him to eat, even when he doesn't want to.  The worst part so far is that our lovely sleeper is a sleeper no more.  Last night he went to bed around 9:30 and was up all bright eyed and bushy tailed around 5:30 this morning.  We are exhausted, but we are also hopeful.  We are hopeful because we have seen so many amazingly wonderful changes in just four short days, including a confident little boy who has a renewed zest for learning.  I am confident that we will have more good days than bad, and that gives me so much joy.

The Avid Reader

So happy my kids are such avid readers. The only downside is when the bookshelves are too full and books start spilling out and multiplying all over the house. I think Alex hit an all time record when we removed "nearly 20 books" from his bed this afternoon. No wonder his back hurts in the morning. There's no room in there for him with all of those books.

As if we didn't already have enough books at home, we decided to borrow some from the library. It's always interesting when Alex approaches the librarian to ask about something in the juvenile non-fiction area. I always kind of hold my breath, a little nervous about what might peak his interest. There was the time he was hooked on anything and everything that started with the letter "A". Or this summer when he looked at books about the human body and puberty. Heck he's even picked out books that haven't been checked out in such a long time that they aren't even in the computer system, so we were told to keep them. This week's selection surprised me a bit though. I mean, what 9 year old doesn't want to learn about the Bermuda Triangle? He also picked out a couple more science books, a couple fiction books from a series he really likes and, oh yeah, Fart Powder. Yep, that was the title. I have to keep reminding myself that even though he is a brain, he's still a 9-year old boy.

Family First

Family First, that's the first line on our new set of House Rules. Today we spent the day as a family with the Patriarch of the Cochran Clan. We celebrated my grandfather's 90th Birthday. He is still sharp as a tack and has a wicked sense of humor.

So what do you give someone who is 90? The boys and I decided to make our first pillowcase for project 1 million pillowcases and give it to my grandfather as a present. Now he has something special every night when he goes to sleep to make it feel a little more like home. Happy Birthday Grandpa. We love you.

Family Style

It's December 31st, you and your spouse have been sick for days, but you still have to ring in the New Year somehow. So how do you do it? Family style. That's what we did. 12 Balloons to pop and give us inspiration.

So what did we do?

1. Created a new set of House Rules that are both funny and serious.

2. Wrote and illustrated a funny comic strip as a family. Let's just say it involved our dog, Spencer and some of the unmentionables he likes to eat. Yep, it's gross, but I'm surrounded by boys so what did you expect?

3. Rocked the night with some family-friendly Karoke.

4. Played an LCR card game.

5. Made donuts (gluten free of course). They were yummy.

6. Tried a craft from Pinterest as a family.

7. Played a game called Endango and saved a few animals along the way.

8. Got into our jammies for a relaxing evening.

9. Made some New Years Resolutions and reminisced over 2011. I used the flip to record a Q & A session with the boys. Their answers were hilarious.

10. Watched some funny cartoons. Who doesn't love Looney Tunes?

11. After many worthy suggestions, Max came up with our Family Motto for the year ahead. Keep on Truckin.

12. 12 grapes at midnight, a toast with some bubbly (a 2011 bottle of Welch's finest) and dancing to Party Rock by LMFAO. Oh yeah, and a Silly String fight. My kids think I'm the coolest mom ever.

I'm exhausted. What did you do to ring in the New Year?

Christmas Fun

Untitled Project

Gluten Free Goodies

Baby, it's cold outside. Not much to do on a cold Saturday in Ohio other than bake. Jules Gluten Free Flour is sponsoring a cookie swap on Facebook and I have my eyes on the prize, a shiny new Kitchenaid mixer. So today my family and I were testing out flavor combinations. Our favorite so far is a gluten free peppermint mocha cookie.

After a very long day of baking it's time to kick back and relax with a delicious homemade gluten free pizza and some Christmas specials with my favorite boys. Here's proof that gluten free cooking can be delicious.

Belsnickel Comes For a Visit

When I think of the Christmas Season I often think of my grandparents. My brother and I spent so much time with them as children that most of my childhood memories are filled with little anecdotes from one of them. One of my fondest recollections is hearing the stories about Belsnickel (Nicholas in Furs), a legend created by the Pennsylvania Dutch. According to my grandfather, on December 5th, children would leave their shoes out for Belsnickel. If you had been good, Belsnickel would leave candies and/or nuts, but if you were naughty, Belsnickel would leave a switch or coal. The switch was meant as a warning to behave or else. Fortunately we never received a switch.

What I remember most though was not the candy that we received but the ornate knit Sinterklaas shoes that belonged to my grandparents. They would leave them out both on December 5th and on Christmas Eve. They were red and white and sat out on the rectangular wooden coffee table in my grandparents living room. To me, the sight of them signified the beginning of the Christmas Season. As a tribute to my grandparents, my husband and I have continued this tradition with our own children. So tonight before bed, two little boys will place their shoes beside the fireplace eagerly awaiting the arrival of Belsnickel.

Framily

Framily- A slang term used to describe those people in your life who are more than just friends. While they are of no blood relation, they have come to feel like family. Filling voids that time, distance and circumstance have created.

I come from a very small family with loved ones scattered about. We often go months to years without seeing one another. While it is difficult not to have family around I consider myself extremely lucky. My life is filled with many amazing people whom I would consider framily.

They are my closest confidants. To whom I turn when I need comfort, advice, an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on. They are surrogate mothers to my children who understand and appreciate my boys needs and wants just like they would their own child. They are cheerleaders when I lack motivation and ministers when I need prayers. Much of who I am today is because of the many roles that they have played in my life.

As we enter into this holiday season I find myself reflecting on all that I have. A beautiful life with two amazing kids and a loving husband. Wonderful friends and a larger than life framily that I am so incredibly grateful for.

Life After Gluten

On a warm day in May I decided to give up gluten with the hope that the new diet I was about to embark on would cure what ailed me. At the time I thought that what ailed me was just arthritis. We had just endured a long, rough winter and a very cold, and rainy spring. I had suffered day after day with deep, agonizing arthritic pain and the cold, damp air only seemed to make it worse. I had read that living a gluten free lifestyle could help with inflammation. I was willing to try anything just so I didn't have to experience that type of pain again.

So on Friday, May 13th, 2011, I quit gluten cold turkey. Within days I could already feel a change in my body, but it was not anything like I had expected. I still was having pain and inflammation in my hands, mostly because of all the rain. What I noticed the most was how great my stomach felt. I began to wonder how long my stomach had been hurting and at what point did I begin to view that type of pain as normal or acceptable? Over time, I would also discover that my once or twice a week migraines would vanish as well. You mean it's o.k. not to have a headache or a stomach ache all the time? Why didn't someone tell me.

The past 6 months have definitely been a journey. A journey my eldest son has been on for over 4 1/2 years now, but one that we are now on together. What began as an experimental diet has now become a way of life. In May I didn't think I could make it a week without bread, crackers, or cookies. Now I can't imagine a life with migraines, a bloated, painful stomach or gluten. It's funny how your mindset changes as you age. Things you once thought were important or you couldn't live without are quickly replaced by choices and possessions that are more practical and meaningful.

Along the way I've met so many wonderful people with similar stories. We've learned what products are good and the ones that should never be marked for human consumption. I've re-discovered my love of baking. It's slightly more challenging without gluten but totally achievable. A great big "Thank You" to Silvana Nardone (Cooking for Isaiah) & Jules Sheppard (Jules Gluten Free) for their recipes, guidance and inspiration. Gluten free cooking wouldn't be nearly as delicious without you.

Last Day Of School

My boys had such a wonderful last day of school filled with love, laughter, amazing teachers and great friends. How wonderful to have my boys in the same school for at least one year.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night

I have so many mixed emotions running through me as we continue to pack up the preschool. I am elated that all of the supplies, furniture and money are going to worthy causes where caring individuals will continue to do great things. I am confident that many will benefit from our closing and that gives me great solace.

I am grateful to the school for so many things: a job that I loved, a sense of purpose and most important wonderful friendships . This year I had the amazing honor and privilege to co-teach 18 amazing kids with a great friend. Honestly, it was probably the best job I've ever had. As a stay at home mom for more than 8 years I was beginning to feel restless and unimportant. The co-op gave me such an amazing sense of purpose and focus and for that I will be eternally grateful.

This closing however is bitter sweet. Like many parents, I have poured my heart and soul into a school that I wholeheartedly believed in; first as a board member and then as a teacher. I have watched countless children benefit from a small preschool experience where their parents play an active roll in shaping their education. I know my own kids are where they are today because of it. They are bright, confident, socially engaged children ready to take on the world and all that it has to offer. While I would love to take all of the credit, I thank the Co-Op for giving my kids such a positive attitude about learning. I just wish that others would have seen how special our school was and all that it had to offer. Finally, I will miss seeing the faces of so many wonderful friends on a daily basis. It's been a great run and I will miss you all dearly.

Gluten Free Pizza

It's day number three of the Gluten Free diet and I've never felt better. I'm still amazed that I wasn't even aware of how badly I felt until I stopped eating it. I guess you just start coping when you feel awful on a daily basis. Your brain shuts down and your body just keeps on trucking along. Just thankful that my brain finally awakened and I gave this gluten free thing a try. Now I just need to discover how to make gluten free recipes that taste great too.

I've never been a big fan of gluten free baking because it usually tastes gummy and very dense. However, Alex and I have been devouring the zucchini bread I made last night. It was incredibly light and delicious. Gluten Free pizza was on the menu tonight. Thanks to the fine folks at Udi's I had a delicious (yes, delicious) gluten free pizza and didn't experience the horrendous stomach ache that usually follows.

http://udisglutenfree.com/products/6//udis_gluten_free_pizza_crust?jadid=7463590293&jk=udi's%20pizza%20crust&js=1&jmt=1_e_&jp=&jkId=8a8ae4cc2df1be9a012df22e0f970362&jt=1&jsid=22255&&gclid=CMrHzKWL66gCFUa8KgodPwduIA

Gluten Detox

What's that, you're not supposed to have a stomach ache every day. Your stomach shouldn't look like you are expecting your third child. Seriously?

It's day 2 of my gluten cleanse and I am already feeling so much better. Tons of research out there to suggest that a gluten free diet is so much better for your health and various ailments and yet still the majority of dietitians and doctors tout a high fiber, multi-grain diet. Time for this momma to stop listening to the experts and start literally listening to her gut.

School is almost out for the year so that means it's time for a little summer experimentation with total gluten free cooking. I'm totally up for the challenge and looking to recapture my health.

Today's recipe comes courtesy of gluten free goddess.

glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/2010/08/zucchini-bread.html

Best Feeling In The World

Today was a rough day for many reasons but mostly because of the anxiety surrounding a walkathon that I am in charge of. The stress of spearheading this type of event as well as a Third Grade Dinner (all in a two week period) is finally taking a toll on my mental health. Yet just when I felt like I couldn't take any more I stepped inside a classroom and had one of the best feel good conversations I've ever had. On the verge of a nervous breakdown, I stopped to talk to one of Alex's former teachers about the logistics of the walk and the impending rain. After we got all of the shop talk out of the way she paused for a moment and began to tell me what a terrific son I have and what a wonderful experience it has been to teach him. She said that all the teachers want to know where he is and what he is doing in 10 years because they know he will go very far in life. While the kind words meant a lot I think it was the way her face lit up when she spoke about Alex that touched my heart the most.

Picture Imperfect

Some families send out Photo Cards at Christmas. With the hustle and bustle of holiday shopping and baking I figure picture taking is just one more task on my lengthy to do list that I could do without. Every year I justify to myself and others that I don't bother sending photo cards at Christmas because it's just too stressful. Why not save myself the hassle and send cards out on one of my favorite holidays, St. Patrick's Day. What I fail to remember is just how stressful the St. Patrick's Day photo sessions can be. The kids are tired of being cooped up all winter and can't sit still long enough to take a quick photo. The session usually ends with my husband and I yelling at the kids and proclaiming "well, that one is good enough, I just can't take it any more". Here are some of the photos that didn't make the cut.

Broken

My heart aches right now over the loss of a seven-year old girl in our school district whom I've never met before. It aches for my friends who have children in the same school, as I'm sure each day will bring more questions than answers. I can't imagine trying to explain to my own children the how or the why of something so tragic and yet they will have to endure this countless times over the coming days and weeks.

My heart breaks for the teacher who will have to stare at an empty chair in her classroom for the rest of the year and can only imagine what could have been. I grieve for the little girl's fellow classmates who are too young to comprehend the finality of death and will undoubtedly keep asking when she will return.

I am sad for my favorite school nurse who has mothered my own children in the past when they were sick like they were her own. I can only imagine the sick feeling she has inside as she contemplates what else she could have done last Thursday when she sent the child home sick. To which we all would reply "nothing".

But most of all my heart aches for her parents whom I can only imagine feel broken right now. For the love of a child is the most powerful kind of love you will ever experience. It is unconditional, everlasting and pure. Once you have it you can't imagine your life without it.

" I have a dream today"

Today I took the time to make sure my kids knew why they had the day off from school. To make certain that they didn't think it was a teacher work day or snow day but the celebration of the life and legacy of a great American.

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even at a young age they both were very well informed about Martin Luther King Jr. I read them a story about his life and we shared one of my favorite quotes "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase". Only fourteen words but such a powerful message.

Pumpkins and Hobo Gummy Bears

Yesterday was a family day, a stolen day away that I will remember and treasure forever. Over the past few months because of a sudden death or illness of someone dear I have vowed to take more time to enjoy life. Yet despite that promise one day began to blur into the next and before I knew it half of October had already come and gone. For some unknown reason, the warning bells went off in my head yesterday morning and I decided to throw caution to the wind. I decided to be spontaneous and ignore all of the mundane tasks and errands on my "to do" list. Yesterday was the day to put family first and foremost.

We spent the better part of the afternoon taking a leisurely drive through Hiram stopping along the way to pick pumpkins at Monroe Farms. The farm was absolutely amazing, a little off the beaten path but totally worth the trip. I will never forget the way the ladybugs captivated Alex or the look on Max's face while he searched for the perfect pumpkin all the while tripping over the vines like a child would trip over his shoelaces. Afterward we drove to Hiram College, our old stomping ground to soak in all of the beautiful colors.

Like so many times before we left Hiram and drove out to Sharon Pennsylvania for wings at Quaker Steak & Lube. A leisurely dinner together sharing our favorite parts of the day and telling knock knock jokes. On the way home my husband suggested we stop for a little treat. He said that we would stop and pick up the kids new favorite kind of candy to which Max replied, "we're stopping to get Hobo Gummy Bears. Yes!!" Hobo Gummy Bears (Haribo) indeed.

As I look back over our day yesterday my only regret is that we don't put our family first every week. Dishes, laundry, housework, etc. will all still be waiting for us even if we wait an extra day but magical days spent making memories with loved ones are fleeting and much to precious to waste.

Uh, Thanks!

Speaking with my mother- in- law is always interesting. She has been chosen as a first responder should a chemical/biological attack occur. Apparently she will have a kit to treat herself, my husband, kids and myself. After what seemed like an eternity for her to explain everything she took a big breath which was followed by an incredibly long awkward silence. Exactly what should one say for the possibility of a potentially life saving gift should something horrific happen? Uh, thanks!